oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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