Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you would pick up someone in the library
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
