New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize