He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
