I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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