You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
