turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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