wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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