I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
