Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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