Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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