Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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