I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
