I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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