I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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