anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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