Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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