I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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