I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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