I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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