He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
