I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
