is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
