i permit you to call me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
