No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
