the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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