What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize