Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize