she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it glows. i had to have it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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