i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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