Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
