Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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