Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
