i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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