we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
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thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list