porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."