Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay