Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Randomize
Follow @tfln