he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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