I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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