Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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