FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
