okay pat passed out under dana's car
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
