Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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