One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
wow bdsm is so cute
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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