put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Only a mothe r could love this liver
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
