I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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