found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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