It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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