We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this beer tastes like vomit already
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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