Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
