We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
