Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize