OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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