I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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