That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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