Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
