So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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