Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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