at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
