just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
