Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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