My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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