Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize