Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
whose parrot is this?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
