Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
