his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
