it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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