There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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