So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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