I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
